Marriage Of One

December 29, 2015

Accommodation: Compromise Without Promise

Filed under: marriage,relationships — marriageofone @ 11:31 pm
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I’ve stopped regular updates to this website as you can tell.

Since my last post some years ago, much has changed, and by the same token, some things have stayed the same and I didn’t want to keep repeating the same stuff again and again so I stopped writing.  But enough has changed now to add something to this story.

The first thing that has changed is that my parents are no longer living with us.  The second thing is that Susan made one huge compromise to her hitherto unwavering position (no pun intended) on sex.

Both of these changes stemmed from a huge and traumatic event that took place just over two years ago.



October 7, 2012

The Everlasting Condom Reader Challenge

Filed under: sex — marriageofone @ 10:00 pm
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Hello all, I’m not going to go on about how things are in this post: it is just more of the same as our sex-life (I should say Susan’s really because it’s got nothing to do with me) has returned firmly to the once-per-quarter-if-we’re-lucky state.

I recently threw out an empty box of condoms.  Not news for most couples presumably but the interesting subject here is when the box was bought: June 2008.  There were 12 condoms in the box, and I threw it out just a few months ago.  So 12 condoms over just over 4 years: you do the math as they say. (more…)

July 26, 2010

Half a dozen options

Filed under: intimacy,sex — marriageofone @ 10:41 pm
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A few nights ago I visited Greta Christina’s blog as I do every so often.  I came across her response to a blog post by Dan Savage (whom I had never hitherto heard of) regarding options surrounding couples with mismatched libido.
I suggest you read Dan’s post and then Greta’s before continuing. (more…)

April 5, 2010

‘Expert’ Advice

Filed under: love,marriage,relationships,sex — marriageofone @ 11:06 pm
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I have to say I smiled just a bit when I read ToppHoggs comment on my last posting…that I had started to ‘blog … as an expert’ on this type of life.  I don’t think I’ve yet been called an expert on, well anything!  Yet I would gladly pass on the privilage of being an expert on this one thing.  Were it up to me. (more…)

March 18, 2010

A glitch in the matrix?

Filed under: intimacy,sex — marriageofone @ 10:26 pm
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Last week Susan and I made love again – just about 3 weeks after the last time.

To any ordinary person that would sound like a long enough drought- for me this is like a monsoon!  I wasn’t expecting any ‘rainfall’ until at least mid to late May! (more…)

September 7, 2009

The Double-edged Sword

Filed under: love,marriage,sex — marriageofone @ 9:13 pm
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In recent weeks I have been delighted to find a community of eloquent and similarly affected (and disaffected) members of the public to me.

They are to be found at Live in a Sexless Marriage and Husband in a Sexless Marriage. My first reaction on finding and reading some of the accounts was one of supreme relief. For much of the time I have been writing this blog I have (apart from some comments) been pretty much finding my own way through the minefield of feelings and conflicting emotions. Now here is a large number of people in similar predicaments who have helpful and sometimes a humourous angle to the lives that we have before us. (more…)

August 16, 2009

The Elephant in the Room

Filed under: love,marriage,sex — marriageofone @ 11:08 pm
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In one of my recent posts I pointed out that the one thing I have remaining is to “take care of myself”.  This is not as selfish or narcissistic as it might appear: I have children I want to watch grow and I have to remain fit and mentally and emotionally ‘useful’ to them.  Finally, if I can find hapiness within my own life outside of my marriage – perhaps, just perhaps – as a byproduct of that – my wife might find a renewed interest in me and what I have to offer her.  At the very least it will bolster the friendship angle of our relationship as that is pretty much all we have left.

So here goes and I’ll try to make this entry brief even though it actually needs to cover a fair bit. (more…)

August 6, 2009

The Writing on the Wall

Filed under: marriage,sex — marriageofone @ 11:03 pm
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Over the last few months I’ve come to the conclusion that Susan is asexual.

I can’t prove it.  I’m not a therapist, psychologist or doctor.  But all the evidence I have points to that.  If she is not asexual then it would suggest that she is maliciously tearing the fabric of our marriage.  How else can you explain her inaction? (more…)

July 16, 2009

The End Of The Road Part 2

Filed under: marriage,relationships,sex — marriageofone @ 3:55 pm
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It has been a long while but this is the first time I have been able to devote any length of time to writing about what has happened.  This entry has been put together over a few weeks actually.

A few days after Susan broke the astonishing news that she was quitting therapy, she said she wanted to talk.  We sat on the bed, she had surrounded herself with a few of the sex manuals she had bought for our wedding night nearly 9 years ago.  She wanted to get right to talking about restarting our sex-life. Her method was to use the books and pick things to try out from them (not right away of course).

I wasn’t impressed.  I needed answers.  Although the decision to get help was hers, I felt that the least she could have done is asked me before she had terminated her sessions with Marcia.  Especially as she had pretty much involved me along the way.  So my first question was why she had done that. (more…)

June 1, 2009

The Asexual Question

Filed under: relationships,sex — marriageofone @ 1:29 pm
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A few posts ago I wrote about something I have recently discovered – asexuality.  I read up on it as much as I could because from the descriptions of the attitudes of the ‘normal’ asexuals I felt Susan may have been a prime example of this sexual ‘orientation’.

But something about the whole premise of asexuality just ‘doesn’t feel right’ to me.

I’m not suggesting that those who claim to be asexuals are deluded, dishonest or confused.  I’m merely hinting at the possibility (as others have) that these may be people who have exceptionally low libidos combined with unrewarding or downright unpleasant initial sexual encounters. (more…)

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