Marriage Of One

July 5, 2009

The Marcia-n Conspiracy

Filed under: marriage — marriageofone @ 9:43 pm
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This may sound paranoid and cynical but I don’t think Marcia is totally innocent of Susan’s failure to capitalise on her counselling sessions.

Why did she feel that she needed to keep asking Susan whether she wanted to continue the sessions?  Unless she wanted to give Susan – who would obviously be finding the introspection quite difficult and would be looking for an escape route – a ‘get out of jail card’.

From the start Marcia seemed to be attributing Susan’s behaviour and sexuality on Susan’s life as a mother rather than her life as a wife or woman or teenager, neglecting even the 5 years before she became a mother.  First it was how tiring it must be to be a mother.  Then that perhaps she had post-natal depression.

And I think Marcia kept returning to this because she did not want to continue to work with Susan.  I think she thought that she saw a lost cause and didn’t want to waste her time. (more…)

June 18, 2009

The End of the Road Part 1

Filed under: marriage,relationships — marriageofone @ 8:09 am
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This needs to be a long and detailed entry. Unfortunately I am absolutely snowed under with work at present so I’ll share the details in a few days hopefully. I may even have a bit more information then.

A few days ago Susan went for her fortnightly counselling session with Marcia. We couldn’t talk through the day and last thing at night she chose to speak about it – after I asked.

What she said made my stomach turn. She is quitting her sessions with Marcia. I asked why. She said she “couldn’t see what she could do for [her]”. I was stunned really. So I asked “Well, what was your expectation from her?”

And I couldn’t get a straight answer. Susan’s confusion over her sexuality and expectations just didn’t allow her to say anything except sentences prefixed or suffixed with “I don’t know”.

I’m trying to understand, I said to her, why after months of waiting for these sessions you chose to end them after just 3 sessions.

I still am. To my mind (although this is of course ‘hearsay’) Marcia’s approach may be somewhat to blame. As I say, more detail to come.

June 3, 2009

Laugh or Cry?

Filed under: sex — marriageofone @ 1:19 pm
Tags: , ,

So Susan came back yesterday from her session with Marcia in quite a good mood.  She didn’t ask me to accompany her and I didn’t ask as I wanted to avoid the “It’s up to you” response.

Apparently Marcia told her that she has made good progress and should continue doing what she has been doing (looking at herself and getting to know her body) for another two weeks.

But later yesterday I asked her if anthing else had been discussed.  And she said that she had ‘mentioned’ that I used a ‘pump’ of some sort.  Marcia said she was concerned about that but said she would think of an effective response. (more…)

May 18, 2009

A miracle!

Filed under: marriage — marriageofone @ 9:55 pm
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I don’t believe in miracles.  But only a few days after she mentioned it, she got a call from a hospital regarding her libido ‘issue’.  And the appointment is tomorrow!

It’s not even in the same town as we are, so she is going to have to travel there.  She asked me to accompany her because she is afraid of getting lost, and as she hasn’t been well the last few days I think it’s only fair to ensure she gets there.  She said that she hopes it isn’t going to be a waste of her time.  So do I, but what she might consider to be a waste of time may not actually be that at all.

I hope she cooperates, is honest and open and keeps an open mind – for both our sakes.  I don’t think she will have another opportunity like this.

January 20, 2009

A Life of Stress?

Filed under: marriage,relationships,sex — marriageofone @ 8:11 pm
Tags: , , ,

Well Susan eventually got to see her GP.  Armed with her completed questionnaire, the conclusion of the GP was not depression – but stress.

Yep, ye olde libido killer.  And let’s not be unfair here.  Susan and I are both stressed, and have had/are having a fairly stressful marriage.  Part of the stress killing her libido has probably been stress about not having  a libido!  Until now I suspect not much however.

Okay I have to say this throws up some questions which I should really ask her, but I don’t really see the point.  What made the doctor arrive at stress as as a diagnosis?  I am suspicious of the picture painted for the GP by Susan.

Did Susan give a representation of her life now, her marriage as it has been say over the past 3 or 4 years, the whole of her marriage, or her whole adult life? (more…)

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