Marriage Of One

April 15, 2009

Last night a pornstar saved my life

Filed under: sex — marriageofone @ 10:15 pm
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Okay so the title is misleading – my life was never in any danger.  But in this entry I want to address my ‘relationship’ with pornography.

First and foremost, I make no judgement on pornography although I believe like most right-minded people that porn and children should be kept well apart.  So I’m not only absolutely disgusted by the suggestion that anyone could abuse children (and photograph/video this), but I also am fully behind any laws that aim to protect children from exposure to pornography, provided those laws are balanced with due regard to freedom of expression.

Ok, without going into too much detail you can guess that I am a ‘mainstream’ porn ‘user’.  I don’t like S&M, violence (even simulated), bestiality or anything which even makes it seem like any of the participants are not fully consenting (even though they may well be).

Nevertheless, pornography plays a huge part in my life for reasons that you can well understand if you have read the gist of this weblog.  But it has a different purpose to what most people would consider is ‘normal’.

For most people, porn is a sexual stimulant.  They indulge in it for masturbation or substitute for the ‘real’ thing or to build up fantasy with a partner.

For me porn is a double-edged sword.  I need porn to kill my sexual desire.  I masturbate to improbable sexual fantasies not so that I can share these (not necessarily act them out) with Susan, but so that I don’t think about sex for a few days.

On the other hand, I need the minimal sexual gratification it provides to release endorphins, help me relax after a tense day at work, reduce stress levels and take my mind off the troubles of the day.

I’m not religious but if I ever wanted to thank God, I would thank him for internet porn.  Without it I feel certain that by now I would have had hypertension, a stroke or heart attack.  Seriously. These conditions run in my family.  Even so I still suffer from eczema and tongue ulcers from time to time.  My current eczema episode has been running (and growing worse) for over a year now.  But at least this is manageable.

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1 Comment »

  1. I agree- porn is completely double edged in this situation. I probably couldn’t do without it at this point, but at times I go through such fits of feeling pathetic. The idea that I go home to a beautiful woman every night, and sexual gratification will only be found (barely- but it’s something at least) in my office while dear wife slumbers in the next room is like an elephant sitting on my chest at night.

    Comment by ManInABox — November 25, 2009 @ 4:14 pm


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