Marriage Of One

October 24, 2008

To begin with…

Filed under: marriage — marriageofone @ 9:35 pm

I don’t yet know what I am going to achieve with this blog.  I have little to no hope for the future in as far as my sex life goes. 

I guess what I really want is to share some of thoughts and coping mechanisms and perhaps even re-ignite some hope – although that is not something I think is possible.  Mostly I hope to be able to communicate with people and hear back from them what they have or are experiencing.

For much of my married life I have been with someone and still felt very alone in this.  It would be nice to know that there is some understanding and empathy out there.



  1. u don’t think your wife was sexually abused as a child? that’s my first guess..possible repressed memory….. or possibly a lesbian unknowingly?

    Comment by keri — November 30, 2008 @ 9:20 am

  2. I’ve asked this several times during the early years. It’s possible its a repressed memory. But I think not. I think it is a combination of poor sexual education and downright negative sexual suggestion by other family women around her. She told me once that she was told as a teenager that sex is very painful – possibly her mum or aunts wanted to ensure she never had sex until marriage. She is not interested in lesbian sex – unless that itself is a repression. After this length of time, I think I’d know.

    My method in those times was to get her to talk about her young life as a pre-teen, her relationship with mum and dad, siblings and school. She rarely if ever spoke about it in any detail. But over the year it emerged that all in all, her parents were never affectionate (still aren’t actually), rarely said anything nice to her, insulted her weaknesses, and she was uncomfortable at school because she felt unconfident and insecure.

    I think her sexual personality just never developed.

    Comment by marriageofone — December 6, 2008 @ 2:39 pm

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