Last week Susan and I made love again – just about 3 weeks after the last time.
To any ordinary person that would sound like a long enough drought- for me this is like a monsoon! I wasn’t expecting any ‘rainfall’ until at least mid to late May! (more…)
In recent weeks I have been delighted to find a community of eloquent and similarly affected (and disaffected) members of the public to me.
They are to be found at Live in a Sexless Marriage and Husband in a Sexless Marriage. My first reaction on finding and reading some of the accounts was one of supreme relief. For much of the time I have been writing this blog I have (apart from some comments) been pretty much finding my own way through the minefield of feelings and conflicting emotions. Now here is a large number of people in similar predicaments who have helpful and sometimes a humourous angle to the lives that we have before us. (more…)
In one of my recent posts I pointed out that the one thing I have remaining is to “take care of myself”. This is not as selfish or narcissistic as it might appear: I have children I want to watch grow and I have to remain fit and mentally and emotionally ‘useful’ to them. Finally, if I can find hapiness within my own life outside of my marriage – perhaps, just perhaps – as a byproduct of that – my wife might find a renewed interest in me and what I have to offer her. At the very least it will bolster the friendship angle of our relationship as that is pretty much all we have left.
So here goes and I’ll try to make this entry brief even though it actually needs to cover a fair bit. (more…)
Over the last few months I’ve come to the conclusion that Susan is asexual.
I can’t prove it. I’m not a therapist, psychologist or doctor. But all the evidence I have points to that. If she is not asexual then it would suggest that she is maliciously tearing the fabric of our marriage. How else can you explain her inaction? (more…)
A few posts ago I wrote about something I have recently discovered – asexuality. I read up on it as much as I could because from the descriptions of the attitudes of the ‘normal’ asexuals I felt Susan may have been a prime example of this sexual ‘orientation’.
But something about the whole premise of asexuality just ‘doesn’t feel right’ to me.
I’m not suggesting that those who claim to be asexuals are deluded, dishonest or confused. I’m merely hinting at the possibility (as others have) that these may be people who have exceptionally low libidos combined with unrewarding or downright unpleasant initial sexual encounters. (more…)
I want to report something. A few days ago Susan and I had sex. To be accurate, a few days ago we had some intimacy. I think she had her orgasm and then rather than reciprocate, she just… stopped. She mumbled something about making it up to me ‘tomorrow’.
When ‘tomorrow’ came I didn’t expect anything to happen. When Susan says she is going to have sex ‘tomorrow’ it is not really what she INTENDS to make happen – it’s more like a feeling of what she would LIKE to make happen if she feels like it or remembers. She just says it with the sincerity you or I would if we really WERE going to do something tomorrow. So nothing happened – although there were extenuating circumstances. I carried her word through to the next day – reasonable assumption. (more…)
Okay so the title is misleading – my life was never in any danger. But in this entry I want to address my ‘relationship’ with pornography.
First and foremost, I make no judgement on pornography although I believe like most right-minded people that porn and children should be kept well apart. So I’m not only absolutely disgusted by the suggestion that anyone could abuse children (and photograph/video this), but I also am fully behind any laws that aim to protect children from exposure to pornography, provided those laws are balanced with due regard to freedom of expression. (more…)
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